Multiple choice

Which of the following should be done with sentence 15 (reproduced below)? Appreciating a moving melody/paragraph has never been my nature and other’s treasuring this perplexes me.

Direction for questions 13 to 18: The following passage is an early draft of an essay. Some parts of the passage need to be rewritten. Read the passage and select the best answers for the questions that follow. Some questions are about particular sentences or parts of sentences and ask you to improve sentence structure or word choice. Other questions ask you to consider organization and development. In choosing answers, follow the requirements of standard written English.

Passage – III
(1) I believe my love and fascination with travel is somewhat hereditary. (2) I got interested in traveling to far away places from looking at albums of my father’s many travels. (3) I recall with great fondness many afternoons pouring over the big, bulky albums, labeled on the side - "Greece," "Italy," "France," "Israel," and others. (4) It was with curious awe that I saw my father pictured in exotic locales wondering what rich stories should be accompanying these snapshots of cherished memories.
(5) Of course, my dad would regale us at the dinner table with many a story, as we listened and absorbed his enthusiasm from the retelling of his adventures. (6) Then, we traveled a bit as a family, to Israel, then Belgium and the Netherlands, and then an awe inspiring summer in China.
(7) As I got older, my interest in travel continued, as read books on a variety of topics from world religions to international affairs. (8) Setting my first taste for another culture as a teenager, I spent a summer abroad.
(9) During high school, I took advantage of the study abroad program and spent a semester in Sydney, Australia. (10) The more I traveled, the more I wanted to travel and the more I wanted to share my experiences with others. (11) Trips to Italy, France, and England as a child further enriched my passion for learning about visiting other countries and learning about their cultures.
(12) It culminated in a three month trip around the world, visiting ten countries from Africa, to Southeast Asia and then through Australia and New Zealand. (13) This trip was a life altering, life affirming adventure that influenced my worldview and philosophy on life.

  1. Insert the phrase ‘This implies’ at the beginning.

  2. Delete it; the point has already been made.

  3. Move it to the end of the essay as a summary statement.

  4. Move it to the end of the second paragraph (after sentence 9).

  5. Move it to the beginning of the essay as an introduction.
Reveal answer Fill a bubble to check yourself
B Correct answer
Explanation

The best version is option (B), as inclusion of this statement would be redundant. The point has already been made explicit in the sentences 13 and 14; and the second part of the statement (“and others ……. perplexes me”) is the theme of the passage, repeated many times earlier. Hence, (B) is the answer.

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