In context, which is the best way to revise and combine sentences 1 and 2 (reproduced below)? Anyone who has talked to me about leadership has mentioned that you are not a leader. Someone should always follow you.
Direction for questions 1 to 6: The following passage is an early draft of an essay. Some parts of the passage need to be rewritten. Read the passage and select the best answers for the questions that follow. Some questions are about particular sentences or parts of sentences and ask you to improve sentence structure or word choice. Other questions ask you to consider organization and development. In choosing answers, follow the requirements of standard written English.
Passage – I
(1) Last summer, I wrote an essay for a Freshman Composition course on the subject of race relations. (2) It was called "A Single-Hued World: Laughable or Logical?", the paper explored the effects of a world where people could not visually distinguish race.
(3)The constantly reoccurring issue of race is one I'm familiar with. (4) I'm biracial and I love it, but I detest standardized forms that demand I label myself as one race. (5) I don't see my ethnicity as "check only one," and I don't feel this is an option.
(6) I do think about race, though, and I feel very strongly that race relations will naturally improve with time, as a two-stage process occurs. (7) First, ethnic differences should continue to be celebrated, as they are currently in California. (8) Cultural holidays, festivals, and trends will gain popularity across nationalities, and races historically degraded will gain the pride necessary to attain cultural confidence. (9) Mexican, Black, Asian Pride will grow greatly, and people will appreciate contrasts between them.
(10) The passing time would lead to equality of races, which will become an obvious state and it will diminish then. (11) In time, equality of races will become an obvious state, and the importance of race will diminish. (12) If people don't have to fight for their value as people, their insecurities will vanish. So in time, I believe racial differences will evolve into a triviality, something easily ignored.
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